Keeping Up with Keke: My Red Flags, According to Me 🚩

because apparently, being self-aware doesn't make me any less of a problem.

Dear Diary,

I've come to the realization that I've spent an absurd amount of time on this blog psychoanalyzing myself. My attachment style, my insecurities, my questionable taste in men, you name it. At this point, I feel like I should have some sort of psychology degree. Which is funny, considering I'm a Stats major.

Anyways, I figured I'd give myself (and you guys) a break from all the deep, introspective stuff I've been posting lately. Because as much as I love dissecting every little thing about myself, sometimes a girl just wants to be silly.

So, today, instead of trying to understand why I am the way that I am, we're just going to acknowledge that I am, in fact, a little ridiculous.

Consider this a list of my red flags. Written by me, about me, with absolutely no intention of defending myself.

Okay, maybe a little.

🚩 1. I Overthink Literally Everything.

And when I say everything, I mean everything.

You could text me "ok" instead of "okay" and suddenly I'm sitting there wondering what I did wrong. Are you mad at me? Did I say something? Are you losing interest? Do you secretly hate me?

Meanwhile, you're probably just busy.

The worst part is that I'm fully aware I'm doing it. I'll literally tell myself, "Girl, it's not that deep," and then proceed to make it that deep.

It's actually a talent at this point.

🚩 2. I Love Attention.

I'm not even going to pretend otherwise.

I love compliments. I love when someone remembers a tiny detail about me. I love good morning texts. I love when someone wants to talk to me all the time.

And yes, sometimes I enjoy the attention someone gives me more than I actually like the person giving it.

Is that bad? Probably.

But also, is it really so wrong to enjoy being adored?

Exactly. Moving on.

🚩 3. I Am Delusional.

Now, I wouldn't say I'm completely delusional. I think I'm pretty realistic about most things.

Except when it comes to romance.

A man could do the absolute bare minimum and suddenly I'm imagining scenarios that have quite literally never happened.

And the scenarios are SO specific too. I'm talking entire conversations, outfits, locations, background music. The whole production.

Then I get disappointed when reality doesn't match the version I made up in my head.

Which is honestly so unfair of reality.

🚩 4. I Have an Unhealthy Relationship With Sweet Treats.

I genuinely don't understand how some people go through their day without needing a little treat.

Had a stressful day? I deserve a treat.

Had a productive day? I deserve a treat.

Went to class? Treat.

Survived a minor inconvenience? Treat.

And it's not even like I'm rewarding myself for anything impressive half the time. Sometimes my biggest accomplishment is simply existing.

But I did exist, didn't I?

🚩 5. I Am a Little Dramatic.

Okay, maybe more than a little.

I have this tendency to treat everything that happens to me like it's some major event in the plot of my life.

A minor inconvenience? Character development.

A failed talking stage? Devastating heartbreak.

A good outfit and a cute song playing in my headphones? Suddenly I'm the main character of a 2000s rom-com.

I think part of the problem is that I genuinely enjoy romanticizing my life. Even when absolutely nothing interesting is happening.

Like, why am I staring dramatically out of the car window as if I'm in a music video?

I'm literally on my way to Target.

🚩 6. I Give Advice That I Do Not Follow.

This one is actually embarrassing.

I could give my friends the most incredible relationship advice you've ever heard. Seriously. I will sit there and explain exactly why they deserve better, why they shouldn't text him back, and why they need to stand up.

And then I'll turn around and do the exact opposite in my own life.

It's ridiculous because I KNOW better. That's what makes it worse.

But I guess it's easier to be logical when you're not the one emotionally involved.

Or maybe I'm just a hypocrite.

Both can be true.

🚩 7. I Am Extremely Nostalgic.

For someone who claims to be excited about the future, I spend an awful lot of time thinking about the past.

And the funniest part is that I romanticize things I didn't even enjoy when they were happening.

I'll catch myself missing high school as if I wasn't literally counting down the days until graduation.

Or I'll randomly remember a person I haven't spoken to in years and start thinking about how nice things used to be.

Notice how I said used to be, because my brain conveniently likes to leave out all the reasons things ended in the first place.

Very considerate of her.

🚩 8. I Think Self-Awareness Makes Me Better.

This is probably the biggest red flag of them all.

I have this weird belief that because I can recognize my own flaws, they somehow become less concerning.

Like, yes, I know I overthink. Yes, I know I get attached too quickly. Yes, I know I have a tendency to romanticize people and situations.

But at least I know, right?

RIGHT?

Unfortunately, I'm starting to realize that knowing you have a problem and actually doing something about it are two very different things.

But that's a conversation for another day. I promised myself I wouldn't turn this into another psychology essay.

♡ Anyways...

I feel like I've exposed myself enough for one day.

In my defense, I don't think any of these things make me a terrible person. Just a slightly dramatic, occasionally delusional, chronically overthinking girl who happens to love attention and sweet treats.

And honestly? There are worse things to be.

Besides, I like to think that for every red flag I have, there's an equally wonderful green flag to balance it out.

I mean, I'm funny. I'm thoughtful. I'm a great listener. I have excellent taste in music. And I'm really cute.

So, really, who's the victim here?

Anyways, if you've made it this far, congratulations! You now know exactly what you're getting yourself into by keeping up with Keke.

Consider this your official warning.