(Don't) Stop the Wedding

 Dear Diary,

    I finally finished my speech for Willow’s wedding today, and I genuinely have no idea how I’m supposed to stand in front of everyone and read it without crying.

    Like… how am I supposed to fit 22 years of loving someone into less than two minutes and then just casually walk away from the microphone??

    Writing it made me way more sentimental than I expected. I kept thinking about all the tiny things that don’t necessarily sound important enough to put into a wedding speech. Stealing her clothes. Calling her first whenever something goes wrong. Looking up to her for basically my entire life. All these little things that have just been normal to me because she’s always been there.

    And now suddenly I’m supposed to talk about them without sobbing in front of 100+ people.

    Great.

    What makes it worse is that I already know I’m doomed because I’ve seen their first dance.

    Once.

    They used me as their little test audience while they were practicing it, and I genuinely had to fight DEMONS to not start bawling right then and there. I was sitting there trying to act completely normal while internally I was like oh my god. Oh my god. OH MY GOD.

    And now even writing about it is making me tear up again.

    I don’t even fully understand why I’m crying this much.

    Obviously I’m happy. Like, insanely happy for her. She’s marrying Nico, someone she’s loved for so much of her life, and getting to watch the two of them finally have this moment is such a beautiful thing.

    But I think there’s also a part of me that hasn’t completely processed what the wedding actually means yet.

    In exactly two weeks, my sister and I won’t share the same last name anymore.

    And yes, I KNOW that doesn’t actually change anything. She’s still my sister. She’s still going to be the person whose clothes I steal. She’s still going to be one of the first people I think of when something happens. A name changing doesn’t suddenly erase 22 years of being sisters.

    But something about it still feels so… final?

    Not final in a bad way. More like the end of one version of our lives.

    For my entire life, she’s just been my older sister living her life alongside mine. And now I’m watching her step into this completely new chapter, and I think some little part of me is realizing that we’re not kids anymore.

    Which is RUDE, actually.

    Maybe that’s why weddings make people so emotional. You’re not only celebrating what’s beginning. You’re also quietly realizing that something else is ending.

    And apparently my brain has decided that the appropriate response to this realization is to cry every five minutes.

    So if you see me absolutely losing it during the wedding, mind your business.

    And if I somehow make it through my entire speech without crying?

    Give me an Oscar.

xoxo, Keke♡